Directors: Tim Hetherington, Sebastian Junger
Starring: Battle Company 2nd of the 503rd Infantry Regiment 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Juan “Doc” Restrepo
About: Soldiers VS Taliban
Watch it?: Yes. In-$#@%ing-tense!

What can you really say about a real-life glimpse into war? It’s terrifying. Restrepo, though, is more than that. It’s a real-life glimpse into one of the scariest places on Earth for an American soldier. The simple fact that photographer Tim Hetherington and author of The Perfect Storm, Sebastian Junger decided to spend a year side by side with the brave soldiers of the Second Platoon, is not only baffling, but it makes you appreciate what you’re watching that much more. You appreciate it for existing. You appreciate that these soldiers do what they do, and that these two maniac filmmakers put themselves into the middle of all of this with these soldiers so the story could be told. Hetherington and Junger made the decision to make a film over the course of a year, in the deadly Korangal Valley, Afganistan where the soldiers of the Second Platoon are engaged by the Taliban almost everyday. You get a view like no other into how these soldiers deal with their day-to-day, with being shot at and with losing their friends. I’d recommend this documentary to anyone, but certainly anyone thinking about joining the armed forces. Wow.

Director: Jay Roach
Starring: Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd, Zach Galifianakis, Jemaine Clement… sounds promising doesn’t it?
About: Mild mannered office man has to take a loser to dinner to get ahead. But who really is the loser here?
Watch it?: For the title sequence and then with the finger over the fast forward button for most of the film.

Review submitted by Alex1:
I’ve come to realize that if the powers that be describe the movie you’re watching as ‘whacky’ or a ‘screwball comedy’ then you’ll probably going to be heavily disappointed. Dinner for Schmucks is no exception. An American remake of a French film, the plot is simple. Paul Rudd, desperate to get ahead at work, has to take a loser to dinner to prove his worth to the arseholes he works with. By “sheer coincidence” he runs over Steve Carrell, who just happens to be an “idiot”. He is a naive IRS employee and has no social skills whatsoever. He does however taxidermy mice and arrange them into awesome dioramas). The opening sequence tells a story through a montage of scene involving a couple (of mice) which is so sweet and endearing I first thought the movie was by Wes Anderson. Not the case and I was brought back down to a bump when I realized that the plot was basically “what is the worst that could happen… oh it just happened” and you knew deep down that Paul Rudd‘s character would turn around at the end and side with the “losers”.
An unbelievably stupid premise, predictable plot, silly sight gags, flat one-liners. It was almost as if the writers couldn’t decide if they wanted this to be a tame feel good comedy or a bit more crude with the gags, switching between the two and the end result was confusing… it makes with the retard jokes all the way through… then gets sappy about not making fun of retards. That being said supporting actors Jemaine Clement (playing the total opposite of his role in Flight of the Concords) and Zach Galifianakis were great (even though I’m getting bored of Zach Galifianakis pretty quickly).
I don’t understand how a bunch of proven great comedy actors and Jay Roach (Austin Powers and Meet the Parents) equals this mess. And the movie is 2 hours long… TWO HOURS LONG! 2 hours long with no more than 5 decent one-liners is painful, and the actual dinner is maybe only the 15 minutes. The bulk of the time we watched this, we were actually irritated so much by just how idiotic Steve Carrell‘s character was and more so by how Rudd dealt with him and everyone. If you knew how retarded Steve Carrell‘s character was, why would you let him or trust him to do anything for you… because “hilarious consequences” they were not. In real live you’d either lose your shit or call the police or just handle things differently, but no. Instead, they just bumbled on and made my blood pressure rise about 50 points.

-Alex1

Funny Quote:
Kieran (Jemaine Clement): Do you have any idea what it’s like Tim, to be up to your elbow in a zebra’s vagina?
Tim: No.
Kieran: You should try it Tim, it’s magical.

Director: John Hilcoat
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Michael K. Williams, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron
About: A father and son trying to survive in post-apocalyptic America.
Watch it?: Yes, but definitely not if you’re looking for a nice relaxing movie.

Movie Review:

You almost have to appreciate a movie that has absolutely no bullshit in it. Seriously, I think it’s a law or something. When the movie starts, the tone of it leaves you feeling like you were punched in the stomach a couple of minutes prior. It doesn’t hurt, but it certainly doesn’t feel right. I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t go away, it gets worse.  Sure there are fleeting moments of happiness, but for the most part there is tension, anxiety and fear. Even when things are looking up, you’re walking on egg shells because you’re just waiting for the shit to hit the fan again. The apocalypse, cannibals, disease, and Guy Pearce with really bad teeth. This movie has it all. Like I said before, watch this flick as long as you aren’t looking for a relaxing easy watch.

Director: Daniel Barber
Starring: Michael Caine, David Bradley, Emily Mortimer, Charlie Creed Miles
About: An old man has had enough shit from the whippersnappers!
Watch it?: Yes!

Movie Review:

Harry Brown (Michael Caine) is an aging ex-British serviceman living in what has become a pretty bad part of town. After his wife passes away in the hospital, and his close friend is beaten to death by gang members, he regresses back to the bad ass, take-no-shit, government trained killer that he left behind decades ago.
Michael Caine is pretty hard to deny in a world of shitty, shitty actors. I can’t say I’ve come close to seeing or that I’m a fan of every single one of his movies, but I can appreciate a great actor, even in a terrible movie. This movie however, is far from terrible. It’s a classic story about a guy with nothing left to lose that has been pissed off one too many times. Personally there’s nothing I enjoy watching more than a movie about assholes getting what they deserve. Caine is top-notch as you can imagine, and Emily Mortimer holds her own, though her character always seems to be on the verge of tears. I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though It was basically a British Gran Torino (2008).

Another one from The Lonely Island crew. Hilarious.

Director: Adam Green
Writer: Adam Green
Starring: Joel David Moore, Tamara Feldman, Deon Richmond, Mercedes McNab, Parry Shen
Watch it?: If you enjoy a good slasher flick, then yes.

Hatchet (2006) opens with two men, a man and his son, out fishing in a swamp. They go ashore so the son can relieve himself. He returns to find his father’s mutilated body and the huge being that killed him.  He tries to defend himself but it kills him too. The next day, two best friends, Ben and Marcus, have come to New Orleans to see Mardi Gras. Ben’s longtime girlfriend had recently dumped him and Marcus had taken him there to cheer him up. They decide to go on a swamp tour, so they head over to Rev. Zombie who tells them that he doesn’t do tours anymore because he got sued. He points them to a place farther down the street owned by an inexperienced tour guide named Shawn. They join a group that includes Marybeth, a mysterious and quick-tempered young woman. But all does not go as planned. Their boat hits a rock and begins to sink. After they all get safely ashore, and one of the tourists gets bitten by an alligator, Marybeth reveals the legend of Victor Crowley, a hideously deformed man who once lived in those same woods with his father. Victor was kept away from civilization because of his physical deformity and raised by his father. One night, some careless teenagers set fire to their home. Victor is alone and his father comes by and tries to save him. As his father is attempting to break the door with his hatchet, he is unaware that his son is leaning against the door. He accidentally plunges the hatchet into his son’s head. Victor dies and, ten years later, his father dies of a broken heart. Marybeth reveals that her father and brother were the ones in the swamp the previous night and had not returned home. Victor is rumored to still be alive and living in the area.

If, at first glance, you believe that this film is a slasher flick, then you would be correct. It’s a relatively old-fashioned slasher movie that may have gotten better reviews had it been released when they were “in-style” back in the 1980’s. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a slasher movie is, it is basically a sub-genre of horror. It involves a seemingly invincible killer, usually a male, who had met with some sort of tragedy earlier in his life that had changed him for the worse and is now a bloodthirsty murderer. Most of the time, the killer was good in his previous life and had some sort of deformity (in this case, a facial deformity) and was treated with incredible cruelty by those around him.

One thing that I got a kick out of was the appearances of Robert Englund and Kane Hodder. Englund, as many of us diehard slasher fans know, is the actor who portrayed Freddy Krueger in eight films. Kane Hodder played Jason in a few of the Friday the 13th films. As we all know, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th were a couple of the famous slasher icons of the eighties. This may have been a mere coincidence, at least on the part of including Robert Englund in the film, but I doubt it.

To wrap, if you’re a slasher movie fan, you’re going to enjoy Hatchet!
Written by Kevin Dillehay
http://www.moviefilmreview.com/author/Kmonk10

Director: Wes Craven
Writer/s: Kevin Williamson
Starring: David Arquette, Courtney Cox Arquette, Neve Campbell, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere
About: The next Woodsboro killer
Watch it?: Yes
Review Submitted by: Kevin1

Scream 4 is a 2011 horror movie distributed by Dimension Films. It stars David Arquette as Sheriff Dwight “Dewey” Riley, Courtney Cox Arquette as Gail Weathers Riley, Neve Campbell as Sidney Prescott, Emma Roberts as Jill Roberts, and Hayden Panettiere as Kirby Reed. It’s written by Kevin Williamson and directed by Wes Craven.
Marking the 15-year anniversary of the Woodsboro massacre perpetrated by Billy Loomis and Stu Macher, two more teens are brutally murdered at the hands of a new “Ghostface” killer. One of the survivors of the original massacre, Sidney Prescott, returns to town the next day to promote her new book.  Sheriff “Dewey” Riley forces her to stay in town after some bloody evidence is found in the trunk of her rental car. She stays with her aunt and cousin Jill while Dewey attempts to solve the murders and find the killer.  Meanwhile, several more victims are claimed as the killer reveals to Sidney that he is going to make her suffer through it before coming after her.
One underlying theme of all the Scream movies, including this one, is the typical way a horror movie and series progresses. For the first Scream, it was about the basic rules of surviving a horror movie like, for example, never having sex or doing drugs. The sequel was about the conventional rules of a horror movie sequel such as a higher body count and more “elaborate” death scenes. The third, and seemingly final sequel, was about the particulars governing the rare occurrence of “a concluding chapter of a trilogy” in a horror movie series, the most obvious being that the star, in this case Sidney Prescott, could be killed in the end.  Now this new sequel plays on a popular stereotype of movies these days: remakes, or reboots as they are frequently called. These rules are partially taken from the original movie with some new things added in by the (usually) different writer. Although, in this particular case, Kevin Williamson, who wrote the first two Scream movies returned to write this one.
Another play off of commonly-held trends of horror movie series was also demonstrated here in Scream 4. This characteristic is the number of endless sequels, each new one declining in popularity from its predecessor. We see this mainly in the beginning of the film, where we get glimpses of the fictional movie series Stab. The first three Stabs had been based on the events of the first three Scream films, which were “actual” events from the book series written by Gail Weathers. She also wrote the next four stories, which were purely fiction. In addition, four more Stab movies were based on these books. The story lines, since they had been fiction, were based on the author’s imagination and were gradually declining in quality from the original three nonfiction books because of the lack of many new ideas, as the Stab films had been.
In the past, Scream movies were not known for having a lot of gore in them other than blood. But, in this film, there is a scene that seemed somewhat out of place in a film series of Scream’s notoriety.  It was a scene in which a friend of Sidney’s cousin Jill is brutally murdered as she and her friends watch helplessly from next door. Upon reaching the scene, Sidney finds blood all over the walls of the room and the victim lying dead on her bed, her “insides on the outside.” Unlike in the first film where there were brief mentions of graphic murders like this one, we never actually saw the ”guts” on screen.
To wrap, Scream 4 is a brilliant adaptation of horror movie trends, past and present. If you are a fan of the Scream franchise or are just a fan of “slasher” films, you will enjoy this film immensely!

Charlie Sheen: My Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour: Tues. 4-12 Agganis Arena Boston University

Well, we went. We bought tickets and we went. It was about what we expected. Disorganized, lots of odd pauses during which the audience was finding creative ways to keep themselves occupied, and tits… lots of tits. Here’s a brief time line of our experience:

7:15: We get in line
7:16: We start to question why we’re here
7:18: We’re ready to kill the people in line around us for continually saying the word “winning!”
7:22: We deny ourselves $20 programs
7:32: We make our way toward security. They announce that “no cameras are allowed inside” but go on to tell everyone that cell phones are allowed. This apparently makes sense to everyone but us as we’re the only ones that laugh out loud. Everyone looks at us funny.
7:37: We sit in not so good seats (See the photo taken with my “not camera”)
8:10: We wonder why the 8:00 show hasn’t started yet
8:40: Finish playing second game of Scrabble on my “not camera”
8:42: Lights dim, retarded video begins to play featuring clips from movies that Charlie Sheen was not in
8:47: Sheen walks out of one of the lower level corridors surrounded by security and random people. He looks like a boxer approaching the ring with his entourage
8:50: Sheen reaches the stage, and begins spouting off catch phrases. This literally goes on for 20 minutes
9:10: The dumbass frat boys next to us start chanting “Butt fucker” over and over again, quickly trailing off as if their little frat boy hearts just aren’t fully in to the chant
9:12: Tits
9:15: The same dumbass frat boys start to sing “Wild Thing” but reach the point in the song “…you make my heart sing” and quickly trail off as they obviously realized that saying something like that to another man is gay.
9:16: They resume the less-gay chant “Butt fucker”
9:20: Sheen’s sidekick on stage announces “We have a special guest celebrity” and out walks Pauly D. from the Jersey Shore (he’s the one with the especially large hair).
9:21: We look at each other shake our heads and get up and leave.

In the end, we’re glad we went. We would never do it again, and we’re glad we’re not among the idiots that paid $100s for their tickets (we paid face value and even that was somewhat of a rip-off).

-PopChopShop

Draw your own conclusions… we suspect it will piss the average comic book fan off (per usual with comic book movies). Say what you will about it, the effects look pretty damn cool.

Ahhhhahaha… amazing. Enjoy.

Director: Ben Affleck
Starring: Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Blake Lively, Slaine, Owen Burke, Titus Welliver, Pete Postlethwaite, Chris Cooper, Dennis McLaughlin, Corena Chase
About: A f*cking town… can’t you read? OK, a town with bank robbahs,
Watch it?: Yes

Here’s a phrase that usually doesn’t excite me: “Directed by Ben Affleck.” Oh, and here’s another one: “Starring Ben Affleck.” But in this bizarro, f*cked up world that we live in, I guess crazier shit has happened than Ben Affleck having something to do with a solid movie… OK, OK, he directed Gone Baby Gone, and had a couple of amusing parts in some Kevin Smith movies, and of course Goodwill Hunting. All in all I guess he’s OK, but you really just want to hate because of the disproportionate amount of shit he’s been in. Do I have to say anything other than Daredevil? No I don’t. That movie was a rotten back-alley abortion. The Town though, is a far cry from Daredevil.
The Town, referring to Charlestown, MA is about a crew of lifelong Boston townies, that spend their spare time robbing banks and armored cars dressed like nuns and other scary sh*t. When one of the crew gets tangled up with a bank manager from a previous job, things start to unravel and an FBI agent starts to figure out what’s going on.
Affleck was really good in this, which a phrase I don’t say lightly (and I’m from the Boston area). He seemed comfortable in this role, it was obvious he was working with home court advantage on this one. Using his natural accent, basically shooting in his old neighborhood, it definitely seems to help. I hope going forward we see more of this Affleck, rather than the… “every other movie between Goodwill Hunting and The Town“ Affleck.
Anyway, solid supporting roles by Rebecca Hall, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm and Pete Postlethwaite (as always R.I.P.), mixed in with some good car chases and gunfights, The Town will do exactly what you want it to do, entertain you start to finish.

I’ve always loved Warner Bros. Looney Tunes, how could you not? Growing up in the 80s, Looney Tunes was a staple of my Saturday morning cartoons. As I made my way through childhood, adolescence, and eventually into adulthood, I watched more of the modern animated garbage that made it’s way onto the TV screen, and it only made me appreciate these classics that much more. With adulthood also came a sense reason and at least a basic understanding of the world around me. To the point where I started to analyze certain things a little deeper than I did on the couch from 8-12 on Saturday morning in the 80s. One thing that started to become clear to me in my latter years, was that Looney Tunes was no where near the modern day definition of politically correct. Standing out from the bunch though, was everyone’s favorite, sexually charged, French skunk, Pepe Le Pew. When I was a kid, it was funny the way he persistently and mistakenly pursued the cat with painted on stripes, forcing kisses on her at every opportunity, making comments about making love to her in his French accent, and gripping her tightly as she tried to get away. That’s hilarious… no wait, that’s sexual assault.
The French have, as most understand the stereotype, historically paved the way in sexual adventurism, which adds a nice little touch of good old-fashioned racism to the cartoon shorts. Not quite on the level of the crows from Disney’s Dumbo, but you get the idea. So, let’s get back to the question: Was Pepe Le Pew a rapist? The short answer is no, he never did succeed in putting it to the terrified little cat. That aside, I’d be more than willing to bet that today he’d be going door to door in any cartoon neighborhood he moved to, explaining to his new neighbors that he was a sex offender. So, the next time you’re watching a Pepe Le Pew cartoon, you can make your own judgments on all of this. Personally though, I have a hard time watching them without imagining Pepe trying to explain his “intentions” to Chris Hansen, from To Catch a Predator.

-Nate1

Creators: Adam Reed, Matt Thompson
FX Thursdays at 10

From the brilliant lunatics that brought you Frisky Dingo, Archer, in my humble (yet, culturally relevant, and extremely important) opinion, is another animated homerun. Archer, brings you into the dysfunctional world of the secret agency ISIS, headed by the title character’s mother. The main character, Sterling Archer, (code name “Duchess“) a young, badass, sexist, mama’s boy, secret agent (reminiscent of Xander Crews, Frisky Dingo), splits his time between beating the asses of terrorists and banging hookers on the company expense account. Appearing on FX after the kiddies have gone to sleep, they manage to get away much stronger language, and sexual situations that would make the network censors take a nervous dump in their pants. Watch the first episode and you’ll be hooked. If it doesn‘t suck you in, you can use the time you save not watching the show to fornicate yourself.

Funny quote:
Cyril: “Am I going to learn karate?”
Archer: “Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts?”

Slightly more recent news:
Archer has been picked up for a second season. Season 2 will begin airing January 27th 2011 in it’s usual time slot, Thursdays at 11pm on FX. The first season is available now on DVD, pretty much everywhere.

Director: Phillip Noyce
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
About: Angelina Jolie is a government agent/spy… again.
Watch it?: ehhh, it’s nothing special

So, Angelina Jolie, the hottest employee working for the CIA, is accused of being a Russian sleeper spy. She works with two men, one that believes her, one that doesn’t. Conflicts ensue and she tries to clear her name, then plot twist, plot twist, plot twist. Did I lose anyone yet? All of you? I lost you at “Angelina Jolie?” Well, she escapes from the Pentagon by removing her panties and making a rocket launcher out of chair parts and a fire extinguisher. You’re back? Right after I said “panties?” Sicko! So, Angelina Jolie = Not that exciting. Angelina Jolie sans underwear = gets your attention. Got it. Basically the rest of the movie is a bunch of super-unrealistic (yet mildly entertaining) action.
As an actor, Angelina Jolie is certainly solid for the types of movies she ends up in. She doesn’t do much for me. She’s pretty predictable, you know exactly what you’re going to get every time. But, even as expected as it is, and whether you like her or not, you have to admit she pulls off the action stuff reasonably well, and Salt (2010) has plenty of that.
Liev Schreiber brings a solid supporting role as usual, though you don’t get to see too much of him until later in the movie, and even then it’s not enough. There are a couple of OK plot twists, and all in all the movie keeps you wondering how it’s going to end, which is a good thing for any movie unless it has a sh*t ending. In the end, there’s a lot in this movie for the average person that’s wowed by the average blockbuster movie. I’m sort of just glad I don’t ever have to watch it again.

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Starring: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, some dancers and an old looking Winona Ryder
About: Ballerinas do fight club, sort of…
Watch it?: so no, don’t watch it.

Movie Review submitted by Alex 1:
Everyone is talking about The Black Swan. Everyone. There was this huge hype about it. I didn’t get sucked in, but I was certainly curious. I should start by saying that I am a woman. Technically, this movie was aimed at me. Critics called it the best film of the year and “terrifying” “a modern thriller classic”… And most importantly, the promise of Portman and Kunis lezzing it up? “Hell yes!” I hear the entire male population cry. Well, maybe I saw the wrong film. I saw a movie about a whiny, frigid, unstable (unstable in a bad boring way, not fun slutty way) ballerina (Portman), who lives with her pushy mum. Not that I know anything about dancing (unless we’re talking about about ironic wedding dancing), but she is supposed to be rather good. She wants to get a bigger part. New season at the… er… dancing factory and the boss (Cassel) is planning on doing Swan Lake… and who is that slutty looking new ballerina that they just brought in? Oh, that’s Mila Kunis. Don’t worry folks, she is real, but it all gets a bit fight club as Portman starts to loose her shit. This film doesn’t really sell being a ballerina very well.
Winona Ryder, who plays another older established ballerina clearly already lost her shit. It just looks like ballerina’s dance about all day with no bra on because they have no tits, they bitch to each other and then go mental. Fuuuun. Anyway, I shan’t spoil the “plot for you” but I will say this. At times it was really awkward and tried far to hard and I wished I could have fast forwarded it. Maybe it was trying to ‘build tension’ but it was extremely slow and only ‘slightly’ psychological (dumbed down for the masses?). The Black Swan focuses more on being artsy than it does on telling a story. It looks great, the actors are easy on the eye and the cinematography and costumes are great. Too many times it seemed as if something dramatic, psychological or scary was about to take place, only to totally disappoint and move onto something else… this is especially true regarding the Portman/Kunis sandwich. Oh, and the only time something actually does happen… the climax of the movie. If you want to tell a story about a dancer with a mental illness who lives out the story of the plot of the ballet she is dancing in, could you maybe shave it down next time? 108 minutes of ‘filler’ and build up to nothing is really a waste.
The music was great, but really that is all thanks to Tchaikovsky, who wrote the original Swan Lake ballet and this formed the foundations to the entire soundtrack. Thought provoking? Intense? Incredible? Terrifying? I could go on… This movie was none of these. And no, it “didn’t go over my head” thanks. I GET IT. Typical Aronofsky lavish reach-around. Add it to “The Fountain” pile. Now if you excuse me, I am off to the ballet… WAIT A MINUTE!!

-Alex1

If you don’t have hours to dedicate to watching the live show, you can check in on the list of all of the nominations and award results by clicking here.
So Far we’re personally happy to see Steve Buscemi taking home a well-deserved Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series – Drama award for his role in Boardwalk Empire on HBO.
Katy Sagal also grabbed an award (Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series – Drama) for Sons of Anarchy. No matter what she does, to us she’ll always be either Peg from Married with Children, or the voice of Leela from Futurama.

Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy and Ken Watanabe
About: Juno girl, Titanic guy, 3rd Rock guy, in a sorta Matrix type place that has the feel of “The Dark Knight”.
Watch it?: It was pretty entertaining…sober! How’s that for a sell? I plan on watching it again.

When my lady and I sat down to watch this, I did not have very high expectations. I figured it would be good for eye candy and explosions, and not much more. That is much better than my expectations for any other movie involving Ellen Page (who typically sucks). Anyways, the movie maintains a very fast pace, which comes in especially handy whenever the run time is over 120 minutes. DiCaprio plays a thief who specializes in stealing things (secrets) from peoples’ minds. Remember the 80′s classic “Dreamscape” starring Dennis Quaid and Kate Capshaw about people invading other peoples dreams? You probably don’t, but don’t worry, most people don’t. This seemed almost like a cross between “Dreamscape” and “The Dark Knight” and “The Matrix”. Hey look at us invading peoples dreams and doing crazy shit that you could only get away with in “The Matrix”! The next time you’re in a Matrix/Batman/Juno/Titanic/Dreamscape/3rd Rock kinda mood, check out Inception. That made a lot more sense to me before I typed it out.

Director: M. Night Shyamalamamalaman
Starring: Dev Patel, Noah Ringer
About: People that control the elements
Watch It?: No, never

Movie Review:
M. Night Shyamalan‘s movies, in general, don’t do a damn thing for me. Unbreakable (2000) is amazing, and is undoubtedly his best, followed by The Sixth Sense (1999) and Signs (2002) (though I now have a hard time watching Signs knowing what a racist dickbag Mel Gibson is). Avatar The Last Air Bender was one of M.’s usual flops, but without the big actors whose careers he’s trying to slowly destroy.
You’re just sort of thrown into a mediocre storyline about these four element-controlling Nations that exist on an alternate version of earth (wind, water, fire and earth, in case you were wondering). Since the Avatar’s disappearance 100 years, the Fire Nation has decided that it’s evil and wants to control the world. The Avatar (who can control or “bend” all four elements) must return in order to bring balance back to the world.
There are a bunch of different characters that aren’t all that likable. Honestly, they’re really just a bunch of pussies, and it’s hard to like pussies. If you disagree with that statement, that’s because you yourself are probably a pussy. Take that and mix in some really, really bad dialog, and a dash boring fight scene choreography, and you’ve got another turd-flavored cocktail that I like to call the “Shyamalan.” It takes an hour and 48 minutes to drink and is really tough to keep down.

This is a 7 minute compilation of every Arnold Schwarzenegger scream from every movie he’s ever been in. This is surprisingly entertaining. Seriously, stop by Film Drunk and say thanks for putting this together. Enjoy.

Director: Will Gluck
Starring: Emma Stone, Penn Badgley, Amanda Bynes, Dan Byrd, Thomas Haden Church, Patricia Clarkson, Cam Gigandet, Lisa Kudrow, Malcolm McDowell, Alyson Michalka, Stanley Tucci
About: A girl fakes being a slut for gift cards
Watch it?: Actually, yeah

Easy A (2010) is a story about a hot, yet somehow unpopular high school virgin named Olive (Stone). A made up story overheard by the wrong person in her high school is the beginning of some vicious rumors about Olive’s promiscuity. Olive decides to play along with the rumors in order to help straighten a constantly ridiculed gay friend by pretending to have sex with him at a party. Things continue to snowball as they often do in high school movies like this… and blah blah blah, you get the idea.
I’ve liked Emma Stone ever since I saw her as Jules in Superbad (2007), and even more as Wichita in Zombieland (2009). Not that she was spectacular, but she didn’t suck, and these days, not sucking is ahead of the curve in Hollywood. Emma Stone has however come a long way in the last few years, and turned out a noticeably solid leading performance in this one. She’s insanely believable. Enough so that it got her a Golden Globe nod for the role. Now I know the Golden Globes are like the short bus of the movie awards, but still, it’s well-deserved. I can honestly say I usually have a hard time finding anything to like in movies like this. Drama, high school, chick flick, those are three of the ingredients in a typical Hollywood shit sandwich, but this one is honestly different. It’s not bad. Emma Stone’s performance, along with some really funny supporting performances from Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson as Olive’s too-much-information, story-telling parents, leaves us with a surprisingly decent movie. The ladies will probably pick up on and enjoy all of the 80s John Hughes movie references (aside from the actual movie clips they show in the beginning). The guys will enjoy looking at Emma Stone and probably laugh at the fact that Lisa Kudrow’s married, guidance counselor character fucks a student and gives him the clap. Now, I don’t remember the Brat Pack ever tackling the subject of STDs, but it might have added a little something extra to those movies too.

Director:
Starring: Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Isla Fisher, Sissy Spacek, Ian McShane, Will Arnett, Chris Parnell
About: A moped driving stunt man with a fake mustache
Watch it?: Yes
Quote: “, I’m not saying that kiss was hot, listeners, but if the boner police are here, I need a lawyer.” -Chris Parnell

Movie Review:

Hot Rod (2007) is an insanely ridiculous comedy starring Andy Samberg as Rod, a moped riding, wannabe stuntman. Rod wants wants nothing more than to earn the respect of his stepfather by attempting to beat him up everyday. After finding out his stepfather is going to die if he doesn’t get a heart transplant, Rod, fearing that he’ll never have the chance to earn his respect (by beating him up), decides to try to raise money for the surgery with one big stunt.
Honestly, just check out the cast. Based solely on this lineup there’s no way you can not watch this one. A handful of today’s great comedic actors, and just as important, if not more, the insanely hot Isla Fisher (the crazy redhead from Wedding Crashers). Not to mention some of the best t-shirts in a movie since Napolean Dynamite. It’s a really retarded movie, but totally worth watching… though I was thoroughly confused when Ebenezer Scrooge showed up at the end and offered everyone a cooked goose.

Director: Adam McKay
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Steve Coogan, Dwayne Johnson, Samuel Jackson, Michael Keaton
About: A couple of cops just trying to do their job…and hobo’s having group sex in small cars. Seriously.
Watch it?: Jesus titty fucking christ, if there is one thing that I can say on this little ditty called the internet, that I hope people will listen to, it is this: Watch this goddamn movie.

Movie Review

Will Ferrell has done some really rad movies, and he has done some movies that suck almighty balls. The times when he’s really shined though, are the times when he has worked with Adam McKay. The Other Guys (2010) ranks up there as one of his best. Moving on to Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg. What can we say about the former leader of the Funky Bunch? I hated this dude until I saw “I Heart Huckabees”. Then after seeing him in “The Departed” I was pretty much sold on him as a legitimate actor. His role in The Other Guys (2010) is pretty much a perfect combination of the two.

Ferrell and Wahlberg are a couple of NYPD desk jockey detectives, while The Rock and Snakes on a Plane are the two over-the-top Hollywood super-cops in the department. When something happens to the super-cops, it is time for Ferrell and Wahlberg to step up and solve a big ol’ plot involving a lot of money, Steve Coogan, an Australian guy, some guns, a couple of hot bitches, some Chechen rebels and other fun stuff. There are some fun explosions, and solid performances from the supporting cast as well (including Michael Keaton, Eva Mendes, and Rob Riggle).

Director: David Yates
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane
About: Harry Potter part 7…part 1. Wait. What?
Watch it?: Yes! The 3 stars are no longer annoying British children, so you have no excuse to not watch this.

Movie Review

I didn’t start watching the Harry Potter movies until the fifth in the series (although have since gone back and watched the first four). Why, you ask? I can’t handle English children in movies. There, I said it. Ever since I was a kid watching Mary Poppins, English kids in movies have sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. My English wife will kill me if she ever reads that. Sorry honey. The fifth movie was good, and the sixth was better. This most recent chapter continues the pattern. It’s really fast paced, dark, and thoroughly entertaining. This is no longer a kids book brought to life. Anyone can watch it and not be disappointed. The solid supporting cast continues to pull more than their weight (especially Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltrane). As much as I enjoyed the fast pace of the film, I kind of wish I had re-watched the sixth film before seeing this as the viewer is immediately dropped into the action once the opening credits stop rolling. I will not make the same mistake when the conclusion to the series is released next year. A solid must-see on this one.

Submitted by Alex1

Director: Drew Barrymore
Starring: Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis (who looks scarily like Iggy Pop in this film), Jimmy Fallon, Eve
About: A whiny lost teenager living in Bumfuck Texas that ‘finds’ herself through roller derby, sounds boring right?
Watch It?: If you watch this with your girlfriend/wife/some girl you want to have sex with, I can pretty much guarantee you’ll get some. And if she doesn’t, at least you got to see some half decent looking women in hot pants and vests move about very fast.

Movie Review

Okay. I’m going to get this over and done with pretty quick. First of all Ellen Page? No. Secretly I think she is a smug midget with an anti aging problem, whose forehead grows bigger with every shot I see of her. Roller derby? No. I’ve always thought of myself way above all that; girls not quite pretty enough for alt porn but still want to dress like a whore with that “I’m expressing myself and yeah I’ve liked [insert popular once obscure band name here] forever actually” attitude, I totally don’t buy it. And Drew Barrymore? No. I don’t want to feel like I am encouraging her to do anything, let alone lining her pockets with more cash. Teenage awkwardness and angst movies? No. Its bad enough living through that yourself, but watching it play out on a screen when you are done and dusted with puberty? No thank you.

Whip It! is a story about a girl called Bliss (played by Forehead Page) who doesn’t know what she is doing in life boo hoo yadda yadda vaginas and stumbles upon roller derby on a night out with a friend. After being told by one of the girls to “Be your own hero” [vomit] Bliss signs up, and shock horror keeps it a secret from her family. Her team are crap but as Bliss’s confidence grows her team get better and they all become friends, she meets a guy who ultimately breaks her heart but then her parents find out about Roller Derby!! Oh noes! What happens now!? Life lessons learnt, confidence grown, enemies become friends, a young women discovers herself, tears, hugs and cuddles. The end.

But the film itself? I fell for it fucking hook line and sinker. I laughed, I cried (but if you tell ANYONE about it I will cut you). Of course, now I feel dirty and like I’ve been violated. What is wrong with me? Maybe it was the abundance of cult movie and Star Wars references, or the kicking soundtrack. I hope it wasn’t the sense of female bonding and empowerment. Maybe I just had my period or something.

Submitted by Alex1

Director: Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger
Starring: Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger, Craig Robinson, Hugh Hefner.
About: Idiots. One of them wakes up from a coma to find their high school sweetheart is now a Playboy model. Idiot and idiot best friend go on road trip. Nonsense ensues.
Watch it?: HELL NO.

Movie Review

Still with a bitter taste left in my mouth after watching Whiteout, I vowed to find something to distract me and turned my attention to Miss March, written by Moore and Cregger, co creators and stars of “The Whitest Kids U’Know”. What was I thinking?!? It is so bad. Like really really bad. Not even one of those “so bad its good” films.

There needs to be a law to ban the production of lazy road trip/horny teenager movies. I swear people must watch films like American Pie and think ‘I can do that! I’m hilarious and I like fart and spunk jokes!” No. You are not hilarious. I’d rather suck off a retard hobo with crabs than watch this movie again.

Not even the usually hilarious Craig Robinson (that black guy from Pineapple Express, Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Hot Tub Time Machine) could change my mind. The only remotely almost ‘funny’ parts of the film are the bits you see in the trailer. Which should ring warning bells for you straight away. Don’t get me wrong, I like a bit of immature humor and slapstick, but they couldn’t even get the basics right. 8 year olds could write better scripts and for a movie ‘endorsed’ by Playboy I’d definitely want more more tits and arse please.

Judging by other reviews written by more discerning critics, I expect you will either love or hate this film. If you loved it, then face facts… you are a moron.

I’m going with the majority here and saying that this isn’t necessarily the worst, but easily the stupidest movie of 2009.

Submitted by Alex1

Director: James Gray
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes, Robert Duvall
About: A cleft lipped black sheep of the family who’d rather hang out with some Russian mobsters.  He also runs a night club, takes a lot of drugs and bangs Eva Mendes.
Watch it?: Конечно!  (That means “Of course!” in Russian)

Movie Review

If you poke about online you will read some mixed reviews of this film.  Don’t pay any attention to them.  Those people are dead inside and still bitter about Mark Wahlberg’s music career… in fact I am pretty sure they are actually members of the Funky Bunch.

Trying not to ruin the entire story of the film, its the late 80s and Bobby (Phoenix) runs this massive night club (for a bunch of Russians) full of mullets and shoulder pads, happily snorting coke and enjoying himself to the songs of Blondie, going by his mom’s maiden name to play down any connection to his family.  No one but his girlfriend (Mendes) knows that he is actually from a family of cops.  Duvall plays his dad, who may as well be the fucking Batman of NY (but muuuuuch older), and Wahlberg, playing Bobby’s brother Joseph, is the apple of his eye following him up the ranks.  As a result, Bobby goes over about as well as a pedophile at an 8 year olds birthday party.  Batman and his police friends decide to raid the night club, as part of their new hard line on drugs, trying to get a hold of one of the owners nephews who just so happens to be a drug lord.  The Russians don’t like this one bit, and putting it lightly, things escalate pretty quickly.  Bobby agrees to help the police (without his dad knowing) and then the shit really hits the fan.

Providing you don’t watch this showing on a channel like FX (who cut all the good bits) the opening scene in the club with Mendes and Phoenix should grab every man’s attention, and after that, its got it all:  Cops!  Guns!  Drugs (and a lot of them!)  Car chases!  Bad language!  Mullets!  Guns!  Russians!  You KNOW it’s going to be a good movie if the bad guys are Russians!

You might read some reviews where people call the film slow, but I disagree, it builds suspense and tension and has a great soundtrack and movie score to back it up.  It might be a bit clichéd overall, but you know what?  It’s the 80s, the decade that invented the cliché so get over it and just enjoy the movie for what it is. Well acted by everyone in it, especially Joaquin Phoenix, who is thankfully not really a mumbling wanna-be rapper.

I’m not joking, and don’t call me Shirley.

The Naked Gun and Airplane movies are some of my favorite movies of all time. While the Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker team crafted those amazing gems, they would not have been able to pull it off with out Leslie Nielsen. Leslie passed away yesterday at the age of 84 due to complications from pneumonia.

While being an all around great actor, he was the master of deadpan humor and will truly be missed.

Check out a few decent clips of him at work.

Director: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis
About: Pretty much a complete time line of Hollywood tough guys from 1980 to today, get together and decide to fuck up Julia Roberts’ brother.
Watch it?: Yes! If you are a dude between the ages of 5 and 97, you will probably enjoy this brainless romp of motorcycles, cool cars, explosions, guns, MMA, wrestling, more guns, more explosions, and some tattooing.

Movie Review

What is there to really review here? This isn’t so much a movie review, as it is reviewing a formula.

(action heros x 9) + (Y x explosions) + guns + cool (Xvehicles)
____________________________________________________________________
minutes

If you input all of the correct numbers in the Van Damme Postulate, then you get a very impressive awesomeness per minute ratio. It is just about off the Rambo scale.

Turn off your brain and take an hour or two to pretend that you are the average mid-western American, crack open a bottle of Shasta and a bag of Chee-Tos and kick back and relax.

The one scene that really sets itself apart from the rest of the movie is a monologue that Mickey Rourke gives about a tour of duty he served in Serbia (Croatia? Detroit? I don’t remember exactly). It’s like they stopped in the middle of a monster truck rally to give him a couple of minutes for an Oscar moment. However out of place it may be, it is well-executed.

Director: Dominic Sena
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White
About: A mean Canadian publisher is going to be deported so, as you do, forces her assistant to marry her for a green card… only for him to cheat on her with a tattooed stripper… wait a minute!!!!!
Watch it?: You probably wouldn’t want to, but your dumb girlfriend might enjoy it, especially if she is a Canadian about to be deported.

Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) is a publishing editor, who is a power dressing power hungry obnoxious cow. Her assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) is the nice down to earth drone she bosses around and funnily enough doesn’t build custom motorcycles. But uh oh! Someone was too busy being a bitch at work and succeeding to file their immigration paperwork, so Homelands Security wants to send her packing back to Canada. Margaret bullies Andrew into marrying her, because if she get deported, he’ll be fired. Now they have to keep up the act so no one finds out the truth, which involves family events. Cue predictable are they-aren’t they tender moments and crazy antics with relatives.

Ever seen the movie Green Card? Well Green Card was better than this movie. And that had Andie MacDowell in it. Andie MacDowell… a two by four piece of wood is a stronger actress than she is. That must tell you something.

I can’t really slag off America’s sweetheart (Sandra Bullock) too much because she wasn’t that bad you know, she even got nominated for a Golden Globe for this role, but this is all she is good for; predictable lame romantic comedies. The only saving grace was Betty White was perfect as the crazy but sweet old grandma. I hope they find a way to cryogenically freeze her, because the day she stops makes films, I will be sad.

You know, having actually had to go through the US immigration process myself, the premise of this film is almost insulting. Cute and schmaltzy as you’d expect of a rom-com, but still insulting. The film is so watered down for the brain dead, its just total fantasy and every possible scene or set-up in the plot is dated and done before. The romantic comedy genre is a lame horse as it is, and films like this don’t help whatsoever in breathing new life into it.

They should make a film about Sandra Bullock‘s love life. That is a comedy I’d watch.

Host: Denis Leary
Line up: Steven Wright, Lenny Clarke, Pete Correale, Thomas Dale, Jimmy Dunn, Adam Ferrara, Jim Norton, Joe Yannetty
Special Guest: Jim Gaffigan

The Comics Come Home show has to be one of my favorite events of the year, right after Shark Week, and the one night a year that I get 8 actual hours of sleep. Not only is it typically a great couple of hours of comedy, but it’s also a benefit for the Cam Neely Foundation for Cancer Care, so we all get to feel extra good about drinking and laughing.

I’ve been going to this show for the past 6 years, and I honestly regret missing the first 10. Denis Leary volunteers his time to pull together and host the Comics Come Home show every year (he also usually has a book, TV show or something else to plug throughout the night, and why not?). He always manages to pull together a great mix of seasoned comics, as well as a couple of younger guys that he likes to throw into the fire (though they usually kill). If that isn’t enough, there’s usually some really big-name comic (usually hot at the time) that makes a special guest appearance. In the past the show has brought out, Jay Mohr, Jon Stewart, Dane Cook, Jimmy Fallon, Whitney Cummings and Bill Burr to name a few. This year was no different. Long time friend of Leary, Steven Wright is always one of the highlights for me. He absolutely kills the crowd every time with his insanely dry humor:
“Imagine how weird cellphones would be if our ears were nowhere near our mouths.”
“What did Jesus ever do for Santa Clause on his birthday?”
Mixed in were a couple of other really funny performances by Pete Correale and Jim Norton, but this year’s special surprise guest was one of the funniest comedians working today, one of our favorites, Jim Gaffigan. Seriously, if you guys haven’t seen of heard any of his stand-up, go out and pick up one of his CDs, or download something on iTunes, or steal it online somewhere, I don’t care… just find it. He’ll make you piss your pants.
For those of you that are local to the Boston area, I strongly encourage you to check out this show in one of the coming years. It’s for a great cause. Great seats are in the $75-100 range, but remember it’s tax deductible, which is a bonus for the cheap assholes out there.